I’ve been holding off on writing this one because it’s the very best of them all. It has everything: Death by curiosity Death by suffocation Death by drowning Death by chemical burn Death by generalized 70s malaise Death by miscommunication Actual death (not mine) It even has an actual birth (also not mine) mixed in […]
I was nearly crushed when I fell between two moored boats in a harbor. When I hit the water, I screamed like a little girl, clawed at my rescuers like a drowning chimpanzee and thoroughly embarrassed my preteen self. And I reacted this way not because of the danger of being, you know, crushed. You […]
When my mother heard I had embarked on a project to recount all the ways I’ve nearly met my maker (or at least the Angel Second Class in Charge of the Severely Maimed), she gleefully jumped in with additional suggestions. You know. Things that nearly killed me. That I was either too young or too scarred […]
My favorite joke about The Wizard of Oz goes like this: At the end of the movie, the Wicked Witch of the West — how does she die? She melts when Dorothy hits her with a bucket of water. Where does Dorothy find the bucket of water? It’s sitting in the corner of a room […]