Everyone needs a friend like Eric Beaumont. Funny, creative, warm, welcoming. But most of all, generous. Generous with his time, his friendship, and certainly generous with all the quarters he spotted me for videogames. He and I both went into the videogames industry, on different paths, but my path was paved by the stream of […]
When my mother heard I had embarked on a project to recount all the ways I’ve nearly met my maker (or at least the Angel Second Class in Charge of the Severely Maimed), she gleefully jumped in with additional suggestions. You know. Things that nearly killed me. That I was either too young or too scarred […]
My favorite joke about The Wizard of Oz goes like this: At the end of the movie, the Wicked Witch of the West — how does she die? She melts when Dorothy hits her with a bucket of water. Where does Dorothy find the bucket of water? It’s sitting in the corner of a room […]
Ever heard the urban legend about the girl that was killed at Disneyland, crushed between two moving walls on the America Sings attraction? Sadly, it’s not a legend. It really happened. There have been several folks that have died at Disneyland, and I almost joined them in ignominy. My story of near-legend status involves an aptly named […]
Quick! What’s the most frightening two-word sentence you can think of? “Behind you!†“I’m pregnant.†“Please hold.†Those are all very troubling, but incorrect. No, the most frightening two-word sentence is: “Watch this.†This isn’t actually a How Is Frank Not Dead story. Instead, this is a How Did Frank Not Make Someone Else Dead […]
I’ve been in three riots. Three  honest-to-goodness, capital “R” riots. Didn’t start them. Didn’t participate in them. Didn’t seek them out, like I’m some kind of war correspondent (“Have civil unrest? Will travel!”). It’s just that when I get into a sufficiently large crowd of people, there’s a higher-than-normal chance of someone shouting, “Kill the […]
I killed a mountain lion. I killed a mountain lion with a Volkswagen. Let me back up. I love Seattle. It’s a torrid romance that started around 1992. This is the year when Butt-Head, of “Beavis and†fame, said, “If you go to Seattle … anybody you see … is cool. We should go dude.†[…]
My first real job was at a movie theater. This movie theater, to be exact. I was an usher. Red polyester vest to match my red pervasive acne. Most of the time, I tore tickets in half, cleaned theaters between shows and directed people to the restrooms. The other half of the time, I was […]
“How are you not dead?†the wife said. At the time, she wasn’t my wife. It was in the getting-to-know-you-phase for the first two members of our budding team. I believe this was at the Old Spaghetti Factory in Seattle. Hey, I never said I was a great date. I think the tipping point in the conversation […]